12 June 2010

Lame Superpowers I Have Wished For

The ability to put every car on a block in neutral and roll them closer together in order to maximize street parking efficiency... with my mind.

The ability to talk to woodland creatures... so bunnies wouldn't have to hop away when I walk past them. Also so they would come clean my house.

Super hair that never needs to be washed.

The ability to shrink my car into a tiny match-box sized car that I wouldn't have to park, I would just carry around in my pocket.

The ability to instantly transport myself to any location in the world... so I can go home and take a nap.

The ability to stop time... also for napping.

The ability to read minds... in order to know if my dog really does think I'm consistently both the least interesting and most disappointing human she's ever met.

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