Jordan: Ms. Backes, can you explain the definition of "gullible" to Jericka?
Me: Um, it's like... easily tricked. Like, you fall for things easily, you believe whatever anyone tells you.
Jordan: That's what I told her!
Aleks: Jericka, Davin called you "gullible"!
Jericka: Who did?
Davin: No, it wasn't me, it was the little leprechaun behind you!
Jericka: What? Where?
Jordan: Oh my god, you ARE gullible!
Me: Number nine. Betty -- COMMA -- my sister -- COMMA -- is wearing a red dress.
Kids: Ms. Backes, you sound like a machine. Read it with expression.
Me: Um... okay. Number ten. Open quotes -- capital W -- Where did you get that book -- question mark -- close quotes -- lowercase a -- asked Steven -- period.
Kids: One thing's for sure -- you're no actress, Ms. Backes!
7th grade boy: Ms. Backes, you're wearing glasses!
7th grade boy: You look like a NERD!!
Me: Child, one day you'll learn not to say things like that to girls. Until then, you're no better than the smelly kid, standing in the dark corner at the school dance.
9th grade girl: (laughing) It's so TRUE!!
Dale: Ms. Backes, I did my assignment, but I can't print it out. This disk proves that I did it, though. Except I can't open it. But it's proof!
Me: (grabbing a blank disk off my desk) Dale, this disk is proof that I wrote the United States Constitution! I can't open it to show it to you, but the disk alone should convince you!
Dale: (taking a moment to process) Oh...... Oh, Ms. Backes. You don't let anything go, do you?
K: Ms. Backes, where were you yesterday?
Me: At the doctor.
OK: Are you SICK?
Me: No, I just keep getting migraines. I thought I had a brain tumor, but I don't.
K: Oh man, I KNEW there was something wrong with your brain!!
OK: She just said she DOESN'T have a brain tumor, retard!
K: Even so....!
Me: Kyle, what are you doing right now?
Me: What about your excerpt?
Kyle: I'm typing it at home.
Me: Okay. Will you go to the office and get me some coffee?
Me: Thanks!..... (quietly, laughing) I'm a terrible person!
Cole: You ARE a terrible person! You made your student go get you some coffee!
Me: I'm DRUNK on POWER!! (cackling)
Me: Mwa ha ha!
Kids: You're so weird! Ha ha ha!
Me: Yesterday I was talking to Ms. Lawson, and she was telling stories about how nice she is and how she always tells her students how smart they are, and I was like, uh.... I just tell them I loathe them.
Cole: Yeah, you're always like, 'You guys suck!'
Ray: (shrugging) Hey, the truth hurts, right Ms. Backes?
Me: (laughing hysterically) No seriously, I like you guys... ha ha ... I do!
Cole: (patting me on the back) Sure you do, Ms. Backes. Sure you do.