Agathokakological

awesome word of the day:

agathokakological: comprised of both good and evil

I identify strongly with this word. As do my 7th graders.


*


Me: Yeah, I've been getting these headaches every day and I don't know what's going on.
Cam: You probably have a brain tumor.
Me: Oh, ha ha. Great.
Cam: My mom kept getting headaches and it turned out that she had a brain tumor.
Me: Oh! I thought you were kidding.
Cam: Do you have headaches every day?
Me: Yeah, I said that.
Cam: Do you have a loss of peripheral vision?
Me: (looking wildly from side to side) No!
Cam: Have you experienced an increase in paranoid thinking?
Me: No.... no! (defensive) NO! ....why? Why!
Cam: Are you meaner and more evil than usual?
Me: ...yes... You're just saying things that you know are true to make me think I have a tumor!
Cam: Maybe... or maybe that's just your increased paranoia talking.
Me: Aaaaah!

*

4th period spelling bee winner: Do you think I should do the school spelling bee?
Me: Of course!
4PSBW: Um.... would I get a trophy?
Me: I don't know... but if you win the school bee, you get to come to the district bee with me next Friday, and it's fun. We'll go on a school bus and get free lunch and hang out at Edgewood all day.
4PSBW: With you?
Me: Yep.
4PSBW: What if I won that?
Me: You'd go to the county bee, in Estancia, the week after that.
4PSBW: With you?
Me: Um.... I don't know. Maybe.
4PSBW: But no trophy?
Me: I think you'd get a medal. But it would look good on college applications.
4PSBW: Oh, I'm not going to college.
Me: You're not? What are you going to do?
4PSBW: Well, I'm a Jehovah's Witness, so I'm going to spend my life spreading the message of the kingdom. So I'm not really thinking too much about college.
Me: Oh.
4PSBW: But it would be neat to win a spelling bee.


"Ms. Backes, are you racist against FAT KIDS??"


"Ms. Backes, sometimes I think you have no heart at all!"


J: Ms. Backes, am I your favorite?
Me: No.
K: Am I?
Me: No.
J: Who is?
Me: My dog.
J: But he doesn't even go to school here!
Me: I like him better than I like any of you people.
Other Kids: Ha ha ha!
A: At least her dog knows how to sit down, right Ms. Backes?
Me: Exactly. He does what I tell him to do.
A: Unlike YOU, J!
J: (wounded) Hey, I can follow orders. I can sit... lie down... even roll over!